Dealing with the heat.

My last post...such a long time ago, I wrote about the snow or lack thereof in Vancouver, British Columbia. I showed my gratitude for less snow which brings us to spring in Vancouver. Our spring is typical in Vancouver. Very rainy and cold. I have only just taken off the heavy coat of winter for lighter clothing wrapped in plastic rain wear. The past couple of years Vancouverites were complaining about the heat and mugginess. For the first time air conditioners were in great demand at the hardware stores as spring (what spring?) flowed into summer. While I was speaking with customers a rash of perspiration would slowly form on my forehead. As I stood there becoming drenched, acting like I was quite comfortable with being bathed in sweat, I would wonder if the individual with whom I was speaking thought something was wrong with me. They never said a word and neither did I.

I was suffering with the heat not because of the weather so much but because I was in menopause. Menopause shows itself differently for each woman. For many it may start at the back of the legs, from the solar plexus, for my friend just beginning to indulge in this pasttime that few womwen can avoid, her feet gets really hot. For me it began in my heart. In my chest. A wave of heat started to prickle in the centre of my chest and slowly, oh so slowly oozed over my chest, up my neck, into my face and up into my scalp, then down through my stomach. The heat was suffocating. It was debilitating as its intensity grew and rose up and over my body. It was as if someone took wool batting, and attempted to slowly suffocate me with it. I felt like I was being forced out of air with the heat and as I panicked the experience grow and became more intense.

Over my life I found that as I struggled to overcome a situation, it intensified. I learned that relaxing and surrendering to the physical pain and discomfort caused it to diminish. This is how I faced the hot flashes. I emotionally relaxed, which relaxed my body which caused the discomfort to go away quicker. When my mother went into menopause, I am not sure if she was aware of what was happening but she thought everyone was contrary to herself. She could not understand why people were wearing so much clothing when the environment was so hot to her. She did not understand, she would comment, why we did not put on much clothing when it was so cold. My mother's foray into the world of menopause did not last long because it was not her focus and the same with me. I have heard that the experience lasts for many years, mine lasted for only a short time - unless, I just got used to dealing the heat.

I am looking forward to our (hopefully) hot summer. I should not need to sleep with a fan running all night, nor stick my face into the fridge to alleviate the discomfort. So I am excited about dry picnics, outings and sleeps. Unless menopause is stalking me like my kitten Princess stalked my stockinged feet pouncing when I lease expected it and getting tangled up in my stocking with her claws.

The importance of change

In Vancouver, we have been pleasantly treated to a soggy, rainy winter. I believe the farmer's almanac predicted that we would be inundated by snow, this winter. I did not want snow. Snow can be inconvenient, blocking the roads, creating slushy transport not to mention traffic issues. I know that the people in most of the US and the rest of Canada and parts of the world can agree that snow is no picnic. My mother, enjoyed the short vacation of staying at home because the buses and subway where she lives were going no where. So, I relaxed in the divine view that I do not have to shovel rain. Many automobile owners had, in November, bought snow tires in preparation for the deluge expected, only to be let down by the lack of snow.

Imagine my surprise this morning when I woke up to snow. I was a little nervous at the big, fat snow drops that were drifting from the sky. I had become used to the rain. I know, not many people like the wet stuff, but I had become used to rain, to the safety that for me the rain provided, as opposed to the insecurity brought from the snow. Well I did not have to be discomforted because the snow went as quickly as it came. Whew!!!

So what does this have to do with the importance of change. I feel that change shakes us up. Enjoying the same thing on a day to day basic leads to a type of complacency. We become like the log lying in the forest, getting soggy and dried out until moss begins to grow on us. Soon mushrooms join the moss and we become hosts to complacency, the doldrums, fatigue and physical angst. Like the sand dollars in the oceans and the trees in the forest, it is a really good idea to embrace change. Even if it is a tiny change like rolling over, change is a really good thing for us to embrace.

Let's face it everything is changing. Time is changing. Nature is in constant change. We are also shifting and changing energetically, emotionally, physically despite our resistance. So, let us join hands and sing... (kidding). Got you worried didn't I. That is the shake up I experienced this morning which woke me from the little stagnation I was in. Enjoy the changes as they come...you can't avoid it anyway.

Facing fear

“The thing that is hidden within, if you bring it forth will save you. The thing that is hidden within you do not bring it forth will destroy you.” Thomas Aquinas

What is the meaning of these words?

The thing that is hidden is that which has the most power over us. What is it? Many of us feel as if we are in the grasp of an invisible force, which is guiding our path and forcing us into directions that leave us wondering what is going on. We make decisions that cause us to wonder why did I do that? We see our friends and loved ones who, to us seem strong and powerful fall into destructive behavior and relationships and we ask ourselves why?

One of my favorite reads, Yann Martel’s, Man Booker Prize winning, Life of Pi, which is a painfully humorous sometimes, intense novel about a boy named Piscine Molitar Patel. In India, Piscine, tired of his name being mispronounced Pissing took it upon himself to rename himself Pi. Pi was shipwrecked on a lifeboat during a trip with his family and the contents of a zoo, from India to Canada. He found himself accompanied on the lifeboat by some flies, cockroaches, a zebra, an orangutan, a hyena and a Bengal Tiger named Richard Parker. The story played out until Pi found himself alone with Richard Parker. He was faced with his own fear of death, a death that involves being eaten by the Bengal tiger. He was in a desperate place and yet as his need to survive came up strong and activated his fear, he learned to train and use his fear for his survival.

The question that I feel we should ask ourselves is “What am I afraid of?” How do we handle our fear?

Each of us is afraid of something. The spiritual leaders who are trying to manipulate the world into peace, are they afraid of the consequences of war? The political leaders who are afraid to say no! What are you afraid will happen when you exercise that right to be true to yourself? We are looking outside of ourselves at all times trying to effect change in the environment around us. Why? I feel that it is necessary for us to go within and reconcile the struggle with ourselves and our fear.

This is a passage from Yann Martel’s, The Life of Pi, Random House, ISBN 0-676-97377-9. Page 178, Chapter 56.

I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary… it goes to your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind always… fear next turns fully to your body, which is always aware that something terrible is going on… Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There you’ve defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: It seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don’t if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.

At this time in our lives on the planet, everything that we hold dear is under attack. We are not too sure what to do. We desire change, radical change from the status quo of dependency and limitation. We want peace and abundance in our lives but are afraid of the consequences of reaching this state. We can attain this but there is always a price for everything. Within this polarized existence, balance must always be maintained. We are aware that in nature there is always balance. In an old growth forest, in order for new life to exist, fire must burn away the old so that the new life has a chance of survival. This keeps balance in tact in our natural environment.

The new, requires the transformation of the old to exist, otherwise everything perishes. Our world as we know it is falling apart, there is overpopulation, poverty, violence, lack and limitation on the planet. These situations have come about because we have been afraid to fight for our right to be ourselves. We have hidden away from our own nature by trying to live in “love and light”. “Love and light” exists always. This state is what we are. We deny the painful, sad abusive parts of ourselves and this is the part of our nature, which is the fire of destruction in our lives and the planet. I feel that it is time that we go back to basics and look at ourselves by step into the dark aspect of ourselves so that peace, real peace can exist in our lives and on the planet.

Peace cannot exist, without there being peace within. It is not about “self-talk” it is about self-realization and self-expression. It is time that we give voice to the shadow side of our nature, bringing it out into the light so that it can release it’s hold upon us.

Each time I ask what can I do to effect change on the planet? The voice of my inner guidance replies “Find peace within, respect all aspects of yourself and you will see peace on your planet.” I am grateful to my guides and inner teachers for their continuous support and blunt guidance.

Please look within and create peace so that peace can exist on the planet.